"I Can" Meets "I Am"

Content Notice: Negative Self Talk

written by: Kadetra Cooper, Fear 2 Freedom COO

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss

“Trust yourself.  You know more than you think you do.” – Benjamin Spock

According to PositivePsychology.com, one of the key psychological theories behind positive affirmations is self-affirmation theory (Steele, 1988). There are empirical studies based on the idea that we can maintain our sense of self-integrity by telling ourselves what we believe in positive ways.

I have always been a lover of music. There is nothing better than a song that you can feel from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. One that comes to mind is Micki Howard’s song - Love Under New Management. If you have never heard it, let me share a few verses. 

Experience is a good teacher

It takes someone like me to know

All the little games people tend to play

Some call it love

It never has a chance to grow

“You deserve something better,” I kept telling myself

Just be patient, true love you’ll find

I finally found someone to become my friend

And in a matter of time

Real love stepped in

The closed sign on your door

I had to tear it down

A new world of happiness

Turned me completely around

Initially when I would listen to this song I considered it a “love” ballad. As I have grown and matured I receive it as a self-love declaration. We have to be just as mindful of how we show respect to ourselves as we do others. How can we truly love another if we have not done the work to be a true friend and love ourselves?   

The world will try to define you by who you are, what you do, your affiliations, how you look, and even where you live. We have a responsibility to ourselves not to stand in the perception of others. I do not know about you, but my mind is powerful! I can exercise that thing, especially with self-doubt. My mind can hit me with “I am not good enough, “I can’t do that”, “That’s not in my comfort zone”, “What would they say, if I…”, and don’t forget “Oh that doesn’t look right”.  

Have you ever thought to yourself what “that'' is and who “they” are?  We intentionally need to empower ourselves to “I CAN” and “I AM”. Lived experience led me to believe I Am a plethora of unprofitable feelings. I Am Hurt, I Am Broken, I Am Depleted, I Am Indecisive, I Am Irritating, I Am a Disappointment, I Am Unimportant. My transformative I AM affirmation came to pass when I said I AM DONE. I Am Done with this self-inflicted doubt because there is nothing I can’t do because I have faith.  The shift did not come suddenly, but a choice to be  intentional about what I wanted for my future.  It was at that point that I connected with I Am Evolving. Which followed I Am a Force, I Am Power, I Am an Experience, I Am Beauty, I Am Restored, I Am Intentional, I Am Enough, I Am Confident, I Am Abundance, I Am Greatness.  

I challenge you to acknowledge any deficiency within you and speak elevation to it. You are your best investment, your most valuable asset, your prize possession, and your biggest cheerleader. Do something everyday that nourishes your spirit, opens your heart, and builds mental resilience. 

I Am Unapologetically, Kadetra! 

 

If you need a little guidance improving your self talk check out these resources below.